James (36) and Maya (34) have been married for eight years. In session, James reveals that his mother, Mrs. Chen, has criticized Maya at every family gathering since the wedding. James either defends Maya aggressively or shuts down entirely. Maya reports that James has missed three consecutive holidays with her side of the family. When asked about his relationship with his mother, James says, 'That's just how she is. You can't change her.' The therapist recognizes triangulated loyalty as a central dynamic. What is the therapist's FIRST step?